to Blog or Not to Blog?

I have to choose between going to have more experiences to blog about and or blogging about the ones I've already have....there's no time for both.

I just posted about my first trip to Seoul....... I've been back since then and Im going there to celebrate New Year's for vacation tomorrow. I've been here in Korea for five months now. Life is getting to be pretty standard.

Im looking forward  to getting my haircut in the foreigner part of Seoul tomorrow by someone who doesn't think my hair is so different it's "like sheep's wool".

I missed blogging about Thanksgiving. I went to a foreigner church service where they were serving Thanksgiving dinner. My Korean friends called the turkey bland and cringed at the cranberry sauce...........Im not gonna lie I was a little offended. After all, not everyone can be skinny and avoid the all the carbs in stuffing. And after all the new Asian food I've tried!!!..............anywho

They had never heard a turkey gobble. After much coaxing...I finally obliged and joined the gobbling contest in front of two hundred strangers at dinner. I ran into the same people at the bar later that week who saw me make an ass of myself and they bought me a drink for my efforts....winning.

I just celebrated Christmas with a bunch of Brits, a Newfie (Newfoundlander), some Americans, and three Koreans who were Western-Christmas party first-timers. These were different Koreans than the Thanksgiving  ones and they actually liked the food. It was so strange to see them poking at it like it was alien. They asked me what turkey and cranberry sauce tasted like before eating it...

The things you don't think about until you do............

I couldn't help but laugh out loud when they thought Christmas ornaments from the ceiling of the host-friend's apartment was "over-the-top"!!

.........needless to say we showed them the Trans-Siberian Orchestra light show houses on Youtube.

Apparently getting gifts on Christmas is only for young kids here. Usually only couples go out to celebrate Christmas while the rest go to church or stay home cause they're Buddhist and enjoy the day off (if it's in the middle of the week that is). It's like celebrating Valentine's Day.......gross

Fa-Ra-Ra-Ra-Ra-Ra-ing in the Subway Station downtown

 

All I have to say is: "Face in the CAKE!!!!" ....what a celebration....

OH! Its been a while since I've blogged: THERE'S A NEW GIRL IN TOWN!

We got a new girl at work who will probably read this. She's out of control and I love every minute of it. I've already been to two Karaoke sessions with her and our Korean friends and it has barely been a month. Here are some quotes of ours just for my memory more so than your understanding. Basically we could be a sit-com:

--I ain't got my cell-phone light!

--Me: "Cara, c'mon don't act crazy we like this place and wanna come back!"
Cara "Stop it Seth, you only live once. See, done"

What the hell does that little Asian girl sing in "Rush Hour"?

--Me  "Does that really come up in conversation every time I'm drunk"
--Cara  "No worries. Only for like 5 minutes."

"KEEEEEEEYYYYYYY"

And Cara if you're reading, I'm sure I haven't heard "Man in the Mirror" followed by the sound of glass shattering in that order for the last time..............Cara, un-phased by the broken glass says, "shit--well--we're outta beer"

The first time I met this uncharacteristically warm-weather-loving-Minnesotan-Moose, I was still hungover--why would you think any different of someone who's only gift for Christmas was a Soju bottle phone-charm???

QUESTION OF THE DAY: Do you know what happens when you reach the end of the subway line?
I do....

I remember what felt like blinking and realizing that I was the only one in my halogen-white subway car. It was like something outta the Matrix. I couldn't see anything out of  the windows and we weren't moving. I say "we" assuming that there was a person on the train with me. Then I heard the door beside me rattle and a man carrying a shiny work vest and a black box came out, mumbled something to me in Korean that must have been something to the effect of "just sit tight", and ambled off down the train only to get smaller and smaller with each door her went through. Then a little old lady appeared....I recognized her as the lady who was sitting directly across from me dozing before I had blinked to this moment. She was diligently, efficiently, yet apathetically, and unhurriedly cleaning the train. After about 7 minutes she was satisfied and went back to dozing....then the train started moving again....that's when I feel asleep ............again.........

What was supposed to be a 25 minute train ride had turned into a 4 hour odyssey;blinking my way from one side of the hour-long red-line route to the other. I hit my pillow at 10 am the next morning, but it's cool, I had napped at a 24-hour coffee shop after double-decker bus drunchies with Camille as the sun came up hours earlier.

15 minutes in bed and I got a text saying that the new girl "Cara" has just arrived and wanted to get lunch......I said I was feeling sick and would meet her later......what a first impression.....way to go Seth........I bought her dinner anywho.

RANDOM THOUGHTS FOR THE CAUSE THAT AREN'T BIG ENOUGH FOR THEIR OWN POST!

1. Coming home from Busan one weekend I saw a little boy climbing the subway chairs and mumbling a boy band song.....was that me when I was little??? K-POP IDOL IN TRAINING

2. I DISCOVERED A KRISPY KREME here....my student and I often have debates on which is better, Dunkin Donuts or Krispy Kreme........horray for free-talking time in ESL speaking classes!

3.  There is skin bleach in most of the make-up here because a whiter face is more beautiful........and westerners want to be tan........wow.........the grass really is always greener.

4. Just saw a Chinese woman cut paper by whippin' her hair..............SUCK ON THAT WILLOW SMITH

5. My boss is an ex-PE teacher/sports science major. he gave me boiled red-ginseng to drink for my cold because he's into Chinese medicine (even though ginseng is Korean)......nasty...but a cure all.......sold

6. Some Koreans  STILL refer to China as the orient, or Oriental Medicine or history.....so....are you the pot or the kettle?  EVERYONE'S A RITTLE BIT LASCIST!

7. There really is a Diagon Alley in real life (other than in Orlando now)......it's the Oriental Medicine Market that wafts it's bizarre smells from exotic fare like bull horn powder into the windows of my YMCA Korean class......

8. I am learning some contemporary worship songs in Korean. Same tune, different language. The university youth group is singing one of the staples and I picked up the syllables fast. Next thing you no I was teaching them the music and they were teaching me the words. It's fun to say that I can sing it in Korean! PS. I heard  "This is the Air I Breathe"  in Korean at a street-food stop last week. GLOBAL

9. New Favorite Drink name: "Black Mexican", a spin off of a Black Russian just with Jose

10. Koreans being short is a myth. They actually have been making their kids take supplements to grow taller and look less stereotypically Asian.......its China and Japan that are still shorter apparently

**BONUS FUN FACT or FICTION** I've been told that Japanese people get surgery to make their teeth crooked because they think it's more beautiful.  ........Well, the Japanese do have the British teeth of Asia, so I'd believe that.

My First Seoul Train

 

Magician in the museum

 

Going up to the War Memorial there were hundreds of volunteers lining the path to meet you. When the realized me and my other co-worker Seth were American the decibles doubled and the "Kamsahamnida"s changed to "Thank You"........Thank You for what? I would soon recognize the US' role in the Korean role was huge.....but I had been ignorant to the fact....thanks for nothin' junior year US History. Truly moving experience

The festival was a unity celebrate for those who want unification with North Korea. There's a song that goes with it (first video). The most memorable moment was singing the New Year's Eve song in English while a little girl next to me sang the words in Korean. She looked up and smiled, as if to to say "I understand". I almost started to cry. Who needs words when you have music????

Music nerd moment----annnnd we're back

These are the long lost Seoul videos that I've finally downloaded after my second weekend here.....wow....can't believe it was four months ago. So many people have come and gone by then. Korea is not the place to get attached....again.

 My second weekend in Korea happened to be a three day weekend...so what else do you do? GO TO SEOUL DUH.

I went there and met up with a friend of a friend (thats how you meet the most interesting people in life) that I know from Blue Lake in Europe just this summer! Talk about connections....and that my friends is why I love facebook.

Anywho, we clicked right away. Her name is Jin and she is a student at William and Mary if I have my facts right. she went back there last week to start up her last year there. She is studying to be a CPA, I hope she did well on the test she was taking a study break from just to come meet us. It took her an hour to get to us because she lives on the opposite side of Seoul....again...one of the biggest cities in the world.

We ended up heading up to the Hongik Univ. Museum of art...which was overpriced. So as we were mosying around the park and touring the campus we heard plain old English (Jin's English is SPECTACULAR! She even says things like "alrighty") so of course we were nosy newbies and butted in. Turns out they were from from Alexandria/Springfield VA. Close to William and Mary where Jin goes to school and in the same town that my dad and stepmom live in. SMALL WORLD. We went on down to this Optical Illusion museum thanks to Seth C's travel guide. It was a blast. Pictures on FB! (sorry, I dont have time to post in two places).
The pics tell the story.

Needless to say we were all great new friends by the end of our happen-stance day!

And then that night....

Seth C wanted to go to sleep early after a long day of being a tourist. I HOWEVER, would be damned if I payed 100 bucks to get to Seoul and didn't party my behind off. Besides, I had only been up and into my Taco-searching hangover for 6 hours and wasn't about to go to sleep!

(For info on that night, see the previous post about the Bar Crawling with the German guy!)

I wandered the streets near the university. Determined to do SOMETHING in one of the biggest cities in the world......and just as I said that aloud to myself amidst the crowds. I bumped into none other than the German guy who helped me stumble the night before!

I ended up going to a posh karaoke spot with a Korean girl 3 Parisians, and a guy from Lubeck Germany. They all new a little Japanese except for me. They procceeded to scream broken Japanese into the microphone in a room that was stone and echoed (if I hadn't had known we were in Korea I would have guessed we were in the middle east by the way the room was deocrated) while flailing around and air-humping the poor Korean girl. She didn't hate it. Although the guys from France were total assholes....even if they were funny. They're French......... They kept mocking the Korean accent but in a way that helped the girl understand what we were saying. Needless to say Im staying in that hostel another night this month!

The German, The Parisians, even the Korean had been studying Japanese! This is a J-POP (Japanse-pop as opposed to Korean K-POP group)

Here's what they were screaming........:

Kara- "Mister"

Rainbow- "To Me"

(you can actually hear the lyrics "fancy car" if you listen close)

I only wish I could figure out how to upload my cellphone vids of the inside of the karaoke room!

IF I ONLY KNEW.....US SOLDIERS CAUSE FIGHTS.....DUH....so some places straight up just wont let you in......After a 20 min jog back to the hostel to get my passport to get into the club I was finally in.

This is where it gets to be like a movie. I can remember Shaggy's "Fuck the Recession I'm Spendin' " song came on.....and thats what I did.

I made my way to the lighted dance floor and got on stage, naturally. I had a great view of the crowd and could map out the whole in one glance, although I couldn't distinguish faces  through the fog machines and body heat. Then I make eye contact with a guy across the crowd....he throws his head-back as if to say "what's up"....I throw up my best thugged-out peace sign....and if you know me...it ain't nothin' to brag about....and he smiles and starts gettin' his friends to "waddup" me back....wait.....was I a novelty?????


...........that's when I realized I was black..........


The guys from Paris I came with were tryin' real hard to get laid that night. But nobody other than them was trynna grind up on people. Looking around I realized that this club.....and all of the ones I would go to.......weren't really for hookin' up....just ...well.......dancing.

.................I was in a new world

Soon after that I ended up getting tapped on the shoulder by a Korean girl. I screamed over the music, and  had barely introduced myself when she screamed back at my "jennuntahnix!".......................'scuse?

"johnnuhntonex!!!"

I went to the bar and came back with a drink for myself (little did I realize no one dances with a drink in their hand here--the Korean mating dance is to fast and jerky to much to avoid spilling anything you might be nursin') only to be confronted again with the Kimcheezyest smile

"Where's mine?"...she croaked

Oh snap

"I'm Michelle!".......I put 2 and 2 together and translated her slurred robotic English to = Gin & Tonic....OH!!


.....................since then I've had lots of broken-drunken-robotic-scream-over-the-music-or-too-soft-because-Im-scared-to-use-the-alien-language-the-mass-media-drilled-into-me-for-my-whole-life" translation practice with my Korean friends now.

I brought her her drink and from the corner of my eye I saw a guy nod/bow to his dance partner before leaving her, thanking her for the failed opportunity to woo her.......SO THATS HOW THEY DO HERE???

I'm down for new dance moves....but bowing to dance partners??? Don't worry, I haven't seen it since.

Let's end this "Michelle" bit with the fact that she said "you're tight" with a fake "did you think that was cool?" grin of hers.......


......I bowed and left.

Post-Its and Paperclips.....

My life right now is living for the weekend....I like my job and all, no real complaints, but I look forward to Friday more than ever. Right now I'm lying in bed at 8pm on a Saturday letting my body and my wallet recover from usual Friday night shennigans.....that word is too "kiddy"...let's just call my weekends what they have been for the past month: regular "shit shows"......honestly, being here in Korea is like the college experience I never had.....except this time I have a paycheck : )  (is that a good thing or a bad thing??)

Today's word of the day is "gadabout"....I discovered this one right after my trip to Busan. It fits my life quite well at the moment:

gadabout (ˈɡædəˌbaʊt)

—n

informal a person who restlessly seeks amusement

Collins English Dictionary - Complete & Unabridged 10th Edition
2009 © William Collins Sons & Co. Ltd. 1979

 Need I say more????

OH  BUT I WILL SAY MORE!!

Last night I went to dinner with some people I met in Youngcheon (I need to tell you about that whole story later) who live here in Daegu, we've effectively formed a core group of friends that meets for dinner every weekend to try new restaurants! I look forward to every weekend with them. Its three couples and then me and my girl-friend Camille. Nope, not "gf" just "friend that is a girl"....still workin on that. Me and Camille, being single and crazy, were not ready to call it a night when all of the other couples were "too tired to go out" so we took a cab downtown after dinner at a cool little restaurant near Kyungpook Univ named "AVEC"....gotta love the French charm that sells Italian food....

We stayed out till the club closed at 6AM and then went to eat fried food in the double-decker bus where the Russian friends and I ate months earlier with a thugged out Korean stranger....the sun came up, and because we're insatiable, we went to Holly's 24hr Coffee and passed out in a chair until 9 am after a chat and a coffee.....hope you're keeping up with this story!

Me and Camille have been running into this guy who has GREAT ENGLISH and dresses well (I mean I kinda want his Korean wardrobe). He goes by the name "TIGER"....basically because he can....I mean who's gonna stop you if you want to name your kid "apple" right?? Funny guy, except for the fact that he got in a bar fight last night and I learned a whole new slew of Korean curse words. He lost his $120 watch....and his un-Korean-ly fat opponent smiled at me later and laughed saying "he bumped into me and didn't say sorry...simple" ANYWAY......Im sure I'll see him again. 

At the bar last night I also met a South African who teaches music-English at a univ here in Daegu. He told me to go back to grad school next year. He said "I don't see you here for more than a year. Are you willing to 'make a life here'? Why did you stop singing? Your voice will peak in 4 years and where will you be? Did you practice today?"..............SLAP IN THE FACE.....needless to say he bought me a drink after that reality check.

I either find a program to pay me to get my CELTA english teaching cert

Or I finish my Temple Univ grad app.

Or both?

And I need to get my month of travel in there somewhere.....I dont realize how young I am and how many things I can only do when Im young! I want to enjoy traveling while my young body can still move around easily. People got it backwards.....travel when you retire? What? So you can get a bad sock tan while juggling your pill-taking regimen between time-zones?....that's a big no thanks.....

Sadly, the Russian/Ukrainian/Uzbek friends that I keep mentioning left Korea and spread to the wind. They left on the first day of the month. I was supposed to meet up with them to say goodbye but it never worked out. I remember the first time we met at our soon-to-be favorite hole in the wall vinyl cocktail joint called "Vinaroo". They gave me money from their countries as a token of friendship after talking for around an hour about the crazy world we all still live in. I wish I had something to give them in return. Good times. Sad to see them go. It's like staying at school while your friends graduate...bittersweet. I will always remember being sneaked into Woobang Land Amusement park by Stan who kept telling me with his broken English "nothing is happening right now...head down" just to see their dance show and then hangin' out with them in their apt. eating mayo and cheese microwave sandwiches and listening to the Uzbek couple literally duke it out next door...I have more pics of them to post when I get a chord for my phone to the comp.

I keep their foreign money on my bookshelf as a daily reminder that we all have to leave this playground at some point........

Ok, smile Seth.

Im starting the MAX part of my INSANITY workout on Monday. I ordered the "Rev Abs" program from Beachbody to start after this month. Im going on a shopping spree with Camille at the end of the month to celebrate....I need to start investing money in my appearance and myself.....to put it bluntly....Im tired of looking like shit. These Korean guys have got something right.

Karl is ordering me some whey protein. Oh! Who's Karl? He's a friend I met on the street months ago when I was stumbling around with the Russian Uzbek Ukrainians (RUUs). The first night I met him, he was stumbling around with some Polish people and we literally ran into each other and the RUUs and his Polish friends started talking. Then Karl bumped into a BIG ASS black soldier from the States and knocked the bottle of  Soju out of his hand, shattering it on the ground. ..........I immediately turned on my "ebonics" switch and I like to think I diffused a potentially bloody situation with a few "we goods?"  and "aights"

........................and that's how I met Karl

Later that night, when I put the drunk RUUs in a cab home, I called Karl and he came and picked me up at 4AM.....wow....I spent the night on his floor. He offered. He even took the day off work the next day and cooked me breakfast in the morning like this:

Me: "Im not really hungry, I think I'll just walk to the subway"

Karl: "You can't walk. It's too far. I will drive you. You're not hungry?"

Me: "No I'll be fine. Thanks though"

Karl walked to the kitchen and pulled out a frying pan........did I not say I wasn't hungry? He did understand English right? Karl didn't care what I said
.

He said, "I'm Korean, I can't just let you leave without feeding you first"

.................and that was the start of a bromance........................

so much so fast.......some random thoughts

So my house phone mysteriously rings and no one is on the other line....creepy. The best part is it plays
"Chim Chimney" from Mary Poppins ...pretty creepy after midnight if I do say so myself

Kinda mad at my dad for not sending my camera chord yet.....at the bottom of his list as usual. It won't happen until it has to....

ANYWHO, my routine is get up at noon, workout, go to work, come home, watch SVU, Bones, and NCIS....then drift off about 3 AM, I guess that's workin' nights though. I ain't complaining....I like not using an alarm clock.

Speaking of TV, there is an English-teaching channel here where young kids are learning English and answering questions at 10 oclock at night....part of a govt initiative to educate kids to be globally competitive....somethings our country is STRUGGLING WITH.....Im not ready to go back to America's schools....no.

There's even study videos on YOUTUBE that students watch on Saturdays.....I guess they treat it like a job

They also have FOX here and FX here. Even the FX man's channel here is cuter. Their logo is a banana that replaces one of the criss-crosses in the letter "X". Gender-stereotypes are cultural. Late at night on FX they have a show that only plays funny, racy, foreign commercials over and over. Don't get all awkward, they're just wicked funny!

And there is goes again....the house phone is ringing "Mary Had a Little Lamb".........its dull life here ; )

A few weekends ago I was waiting ....otherwise known as "people watching"...for my colleague and friend Jeremy who was a linguist in the Reserve and speaks Korean--enough said. I was waiting to go to the travel agency to talk about going to China ($1000 for 48 hours in Beijing....no thanks. I'm going to Japan for vacation in January instead PS) when 3 things happened while I was waiting:

1. a man dressed in a straight-up Mortal Kombat "Raiden"  cone-hat and a traditional Korean men's outfit walked out of a glasses store wearing the most sophisticated, shiny, stainless steel glasses. I mean...I guess a monk needs to look good when he's reading his 1000 year old books.....

2. I saw a group of black people.....and NO...that's not the end of the story. But not only did the black folks stick-out because of their skin, duh...but because of their behavior...we all know that the phrase "quit ackin' so black" means....this time I wanted to say it more than ever. Amidst the Korean reserved demeanor even in downtown...these people were literally acting like a different species! The extremely large women in the group had hair that rivals the tower in Seoul and VISIBLE TATOOS.....that never happens in Korea. And the bald black heads of the fat guys shined as they sported studs in their ears, sunglasses, and NFL jerseys. These people were touching all of the street vendors merchandise...especially the shiny Beyonce shoes (stop is girl, you'll never be her)....with obviously no intent to buy anything or be respectful....no wonder people hate Americans...yet again. It made me sick to my stomach honest.

3. As I turned around to say hello to my friend Jeremy, I was arm-length away from a saucer-eyed Korean kid (yes Koreans can have big eyes) staring at me like I was on the other side of the glass at the zoo. It was like the kid was an Anime character. She was inhaling an "space frozen" milkshake from a pouch...I didn't know if I should move, or say hello...or what...so I just stared back. It was the "wow, I've just seen a black person for the first time" look. I'm getting to know that one all too well. I wish I coulda taken a picture of that moment without looking like a creeper.

OH MY GOD! .....Joel Osteen is on TV right now....the only reason I'm watching it is 'cause I'm lovin' the Southern accent...I haven't heard it in months! : )

My students, in an effort to try and use their English, always say TEACHER WAYYOOH (which means "why") OH MY GOD!!! ....They learn  from K-POP songs all the time. K-pop wouldn't be nearly as popular as it is if the beautiful people who dance and lip-sync didn't throw in random English at least twice a song.

Dear Students---"oh my God" is not a phrase that makes you look cool. It won't make your more attractive--THE K-POP MACHINE IS LYING TO YOU AGAIN!

Some of my favorite compliments/brown-nose attempts so far include:

"GAME PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE............HANDSOME SHINY-FACE TEACHERRRRRR!"

"Teacher, you look like an old man when you laugh....you know...they guy who sells chicken...just...blacker"
"Ohhh....You mean the KFC guy!!"....yup...except for the fact that they think I look old, I don't mind being compared to the Colonel

"You're eyes are so big and bling-bling!"........again with the Korean obsession with big eyes....

 And apparently sticking a pencil behind your ear is a funny thing for a teacher to do....everyone: adults, my students, my Korean friends always act surprised when they see me with one behind me ear. I asked why and someone said that ONLY carpenters do that and that doing that demotes you to blue-collar socially. In the strict social hierarchy of  Korea and Asia in general, one wants to appear like a white-collar University Doctor as long and as much as possible....wow

I have gone from "teaching" at "Freedom Writer's Middle School" to teaching night-classes to snobby rich kids who don't speak my language...literally and figuratively. One example:

I couldn't find the word I wanted to translate from English to Korean. When the students finally figured out what I was saying they tried to give me the syllables while I tried to write the sounds I heard as Korean characters on the board. When I couldn't spell it right, Gina, a good kid..simply came to the board and fixed my mistakes....I often learn from them as much as they learn from me....but then another little snobby girl in the back said "teacher, Gina is smarter than you"...UGHH NO I JUST DON'T SPEAK YOUR LANGUAGE AND I WANT TO USE SOME REALLY CHOICE ENGLISH WORDS RIGHT NOW!!  ...I wanted to say that, but I stayed professional......but seriously..... I really don't like that little girl............  : )

That's all for now....going to study my Korean before bed.

~CP

So many title options for this one.....

So there's this dog across the street....and by dog I mean Chinese War Chow.....who would have thought big, fluffy animals could be so intimidating? I swear this diva is still pissed because Stephen King didn't pick him to play "Cujo".... The worst is when it runs and plows into the gate of its yard trying to lunge at me as I walk by. AND the thing only does it at night. I hasn't ever barked. I just hear the bang and then the scratching and the heavy tounge-dangling huffing and puffing. It's like something out of Jurassic Park and is bound to give me nightmares sometime in the near future....just thought I'd share.

 On my way to and from work I pass many shops. There are so many little mom and pop restaurants on my street that it's a wonder they can all afford to stay open! There's a shop JUST for clocks and watches...talk about a specialized market! But most of all, right before I get to work is the butcher shop. There's this guy there that is built and in his twenties with a Bieber swoop and earings in his ears. I say all this to say that he is not the kind of guy you would see mutilating half-frozen roadkill all day. Its most hilarious when one can often see him doing the "Korean body pump" (as I've been calling it...refer to earlier posts) bobbing his Bieber bowl-swoop to the beat of the K-POP he blasts from the store loudspeakers. You can hear the music down the block! I really think he's got to be related to the owners if not their son just tryin' to not pay rent or save money. No one that metro jams with livestock carcasses all day and truly enjoys it.

Gay is only in the movies here...got groped at the club again. I was wearing my neon-green polo that glows under black-lights (chuckle if you know which one that is!) at the club a while ago...you know...if you're gonna stick out like a sore-thumb you might as well make it one that looks like it has gangrene : P  and after a few cheers from grabby strangers at the club, I decided to dip-out! I'm all for attention, but hell---buy me a drink first!

Not to mention a guy at church pinched my disappearing love handles and asked me if I was working-out. Why yes, I am, but do you have to grab up on me? I know the lines are different here, but seriously...

As I was leaving the club that night someone's hand landed on the small of my back...totally intentional, like it was a slap...thanks Korea, I know I'm exotic! Went to the next club which I thought was a little classier...which it was, but it was a different kind of fascination they had for me.

Because I look foreign people stare. But that also means that they aren't quick to forget your face. Which means I usually make friends with the right (or wrong) people quickly. And, just like my students at Monroe Middle, people here often think I'm Cuban or Dominican before they say I'm black....or they just outright say "So what are you?"......I love it... I actually played into the role of a Cuban guy to get into a club for free as an foreign athlete here to compete in the Daegu Track and Field Champs in Sept. here....: ) : )..don't judge......Anywho, I ended up at CLUB PASHA....it just sounds fancy. Its one a big ole room with a DJ "altar" at the deepest part. There's plenty of room to move here usually and the AC is usually blasting....not to mention there's a girl-to-guy ratio of two to one always....no seriously they make sure of it with bouncers outside. Anywho, I was out with the Russian friends this time. I was fun to dance with them because they are all professional dancers who dance different styles and you can really see it come out at the dance club. I was doin' my thing with my hands in the air. The music was so loud it was numbing to the point where I could forget about things for a second. When I came to, I realized I was being watched. Not only that, I looked over my shoulder and people were imitating my "American" dances moves...they laughed friendishly and mimicked my every move. They asked me why was I dancing so low to the ground??.....because in America dancing has evolved into the thing right before damn close to having sex...that's why. HOW SETH GOT HIS BLACK CARD BACK.

After the club there's always the after-parties and the bars that stay open till dawn. There I met some guys who were here as journalists. They were from Texas. One was my age. Turns out he was a tenor-voice music education major and took the job he has now right after he graduated because it was giving him a chance to travel and do something he loves, sports reporting. We had a lot in common, including feeling a little guilty about leaving the fold that music majors make around themselves. He mentioned how shocked people were, we had parallel stories it seemed. I just happened to be hanging out with the Russians at the same time. The Russians wanted us to pick out a truly American beer for them to drink.......naturally I picked Corona....I mean lets be serious....Bud Diesel is not Kosher.

On a real note for a tic:  It's sad to think I will never see those random Americans ever again...its ok Seth, even though you remember their first names (Jason and Matt)...you can't get attached. They will never know that they were mentioned in this blog. And, after all, you're leaving soon enough too Seth.....damn...that's kinda rough to think about.

Club Pasha, same night. Dancing with one of the Russian ballerina girls and she seemed to be lovin' it. Then she grabs my love handle and snarls in mocking disgust. She yells "that's McDonalds".........STAB.......I was taken aback at first. But then come to find out as we're walking out of the club she says something and then proceeds to SINK HER NAILS INTO THE FAT OF MY BACK while grunting something coarsely at me in Russian.....one guy translates it to me and says "man, she says you are 'like BEAR' and that you should start working out"..............OK....so Im not like the slim dancer-boys you're used to girl....I get it....damn.

Why the hell do I wanna watch Bones if you blurr out all of the gore during the autopsies! They blurr out people smoking cigarettes, gunshot wounds, and stabbings but they can watch "The Walking Dead" with no problems and they  don't censor out "Where all my fucking alcoholics at" at a family amusement park?!?!?!? Ps. that was a highlight of my life here in Korea so far:

 Seeing two very dangerously small kids ride the swinging Viking boat at WOOBANG LAND (funny name for an amusement park right? damn I miss Roller Coaster Tycoon!) and cheering to Lil' John......of course they didn't understand the lyrics and neither did their parents. They just loved knowing it was English....if you even wanna say that Lil' John uses real English.

AND--I did hear my first "beep" sensor on a Korean talk-show though...I wonder what he said?? It's not like home where you can put pieces together and guess what curse word was used.....oh its the little things in life

"Dirty Jobs" is always on here on "Discovery Channel Korea". Most of the shows are BBC ones or shows with British hosts. "Mythbusters" is on too. The reason I mention Discovery Channel is the choice of music for the show "Deadliest Catch". In MURRICA, the show boasts a macho manly "Dead or Alive" theme song. Here, I was shocked to hear a rather wimpy.....well..to put it bluntly...pussy-ass alternative-song to go with these tough guys throwing things overboard while fighting off the waves. Man, the ideas of what is "man" and what is "woman" are different all over the world!

 The best are the Buddha mediation "200 repentance" channels right next to the Catholic mass channels. These are followed by the "Yo Gabba Gabba" of Korea channels for little kids where they are taught how to meditate. How cool is that?  "Little Bobby can't come out to play right now, he's in his room meditating!"

Last things:

I saw my first tranny here.....he/she has business in my neighborhood. It was just weird because guys here are feminine anyway....this actually looked like a guy more than a girl??? I dont even know how to explain it....

A student of mine asked me: "Teacher, what is Judo?"....of all of the teenage Asians in the room, no one knew what Judo was...wow........just wow.......

Trying to keep up with the story reel....ahhhhh forgive me for rambling. I'm writing as fast as I can so I don't forget all the things I want to share! Whats the point of a cool experience when there's no one to share it with right??

Chicken Grease,

~CP

Ps....Does my obsessive use of ellipses (ellipsi?) mean that I scared for anything too final like a ( . )? Discuss.

Settling into the Sounds

Getting used to things....procrastinating my workout by posting more music. Enjoy:

 

Secret- "Shy Boy"

The "cutest" very feminine guys here get the hottest girls. This song says "I don't want a bad boy anymore, I'm ok with a guy that isn't so good looking but is good to me and smart"....ok.....I believe you

Sistar- "So Cool"
Theme song of "Korea's Next Top Model"...need I say more??

2PM- "Hands Up"

For the first 30 sec of this one you think it's gonna be reminiscent of Will Smith in the old days. Then it becomes a club anthem. The last time I sang this I was on a roller-coaster with a bunch of high-school Korean kids behind me screaming "I love America! GET YOUR HANDS UP"....great night.

f(x) - "Hot Summer"

Apparently this was a hit this past summer...I remember hearing it in August....alas...it's getting chilly now. If we all fought in tanks like that we'd all be dead because bubblegum pink can't be good camo....

Girl's Day- "Cupid"
This next one is just because I hear it ALL THE TIME in Paris Baguette (nothin special its a chain bakery owned by Dunkin Donuts) during lunch breaks and I have been trying for weeks to figure out what she's saying. At first I thought she was saying "shaggy" then "shy-ee" then I finally realized she was saying "shiny"......wow...what a choice of words....ooooooooooooo shiiinnnnyy! : P

Kim Hyun Joong feat. Double K -- "Break Down"
He reminds me of an American artist....but I can't put my finger on it right now...Chris Brown maybe??? Where the  Asian "Rhi-Rhi" for him?

OK Girls "Crazy Boy"
This was a summer blockbuster this year. I feel like I need to see this. And yes, they all drive crotch-rockets here.

Im still getting used to admitting that I can like a girls pop group and not getting looked at funny. The gender taboos are SO different.

What Korea Sounds Like

Miss A - Shut Up, You Don't Know Me

The title is something I would say. In fact you all have probably heard me say it once or twice :) 

Heard this during an insomnia attack. I was flipping channels and they were singing for the stationed soldiers. The soldiers were roaring with testosterone but also doing the motions and all the dances. "Don't ask dont tell?" or is it just ok for the men to do the dances with the performers and scream like teenagers? I'll do my research.....My favorite part is the beginning: "Made in Asia" line. And yes ladies, I will "shut up" if it means you keep dancing.

Davichi - Please Dont Go

Watch the whole thing. Get a glimpse of Korean style. I always hear this song blaring from "Paris Baguette" chain bakeries that compete with another store called "Tous Les Jours". Again, Koreans apparently really like Paris. Man the Koreans love sappy music with their fake baguettes. 

Davichi- My Man

Same artist. Catchy. Yes I'll be your man, your BANGIN'....even though your English grammar flashing on the screen is only 75% correct. 3 out of 4 ain't bad right?

 

A Club favorite, and one of my students' favorite chants to hum in class....

It means "I'm the best in the World" -- by 2NE1....I taught my youngest students the translation of the title because I was tired of hearing them chant the Korean...so now they chant it in English....gotta love the random English lyrics and that chick's HAIR

if you listen real hard you can here them say "Mona Lisa"--MBLAQ ...but it sounds more like "mohna leejah" :)

BY FAR MY FAVORITE WORKOUT SONG RIGHT NOW. GET PUMPED!

"Keep Your Head Down" TVXQ

I've a running list of songs going but Im tired and you need to soak it all in. Be amazing. TTYS

Korean-Case Files

I'm beginning to become a regular downtown.......is that a good thing? I'm starting to show the newbies around. I'm on the verge of no-longer being a newbie. Sure I still haven't been to half the places in town, but Im starting to have "haunts" where people can usually find me. The bartenders know my black face, and even THE TAXI drivers are starting to stop me on the street, sometimes grabbing me and saying "HEY REMEMBER!! REMEMBER!" I'm like "remember what dude? oh yeah...I guess I did tell them"Doh-man-nah-yo" (which means see you again) I'm the only dark man that can use Korean. I didn't realize how much money I've spent on taxis this month. ...oooo....trying not to think about it. The taxi drivers just idle in a line by all the biggest nightlife spots, and you get to pick and choose. I always look for "VIP TEKSHI" because those guys are ex-street racers (or current...just with a taxi sign on top) who blow through red-lights and reach close to 140 kph. "Daegu drift" anyone?

One of my cutest students is named Jimi. He's 10 and is really excited to sing and is EXTREMELY SMART. We were learning "zoo" (lovingly pronounced JEW) animals and Jimmy says "teacher: rhino-saur!".....I didn't correct him. After all it was close. Yes Jimi. This is a "rhinosaur".....and in the next enclosure are the "Lygers"...or is it "Ligers?" As my kids would say, "TEACHER, SPELLING!!!!"

My honors class is ridiculously smart. I've had the honor of teaching the smartest classes in the school. One day I got sick because of the amount of sugar in the juices here and I just gave them their work, and told them there will be a quiz next week. They got this. If I don't watch out, they'll make my job too easy. Is it because I have a teaching degree? Who knows. I have many co-teachers, but my favorite is Jiny. She is HARDCORE. We share the same honors classes. Unlike the other Korean teachers who cycle in and out almost as fast as the foreign teachers, she has been in this same hagwon (private school) for 5 years. Her desk is always stacked high with work and her library of ESL books rivals the book-store downtown. Anywho, shes my favorite. One day huge parts of Korea lost power. It's amazing to think that pretty much the whole country lost power because it was so hot and we were all blasting the A/C. While most teachers like myself would just give their honors students all of the in-class work as homework during a power-outage and just say forget teaching, Jiny-teacher made her students go to the lighted stairwell and take their vocab quiz standing up while using the wall to bare-down on.....gotta love the teacher who is a heartless diva but is still down-to-earth enough to talk to you about brewing wine, help you with your YMCA Korean homework, Korean texting slang, and rocks Converse on Fridays. GET IT JINY-TEACHER

My first test with that class made one student say "Teacher, this test, oh my God!" Needless to say, now that I've scaled down my tests, Jiny has kept right on going. Now all they say is "Teacher, can we please study? Jiny teacher test: OH MY GOD!"  I laughed out-loud and started giving them 5 mins to study for her class if they do all of my work. Some say she works too hard? Hmm? *Jane, if you're reading this, don't laugh too hard*

Weekend before last I was being an "MF-er" as usual at MF-bar with my girl Sinade (cool name right?). We were sippin', people watchin, and making ambitious drunken travel plans when we realized this one rather un-Korean-ly large girl who obviously was trying to wash away her Daddy-issues with waves of Soju. She had a tattoo (again, not very Korean-like) on her back. A full-scale pirate ship. Something video-game designers might use as a concept. It looked cool. But what happens when you start to sag and the wind in those "sails" starts to die? What happens when your young "Argghhhs" become old "Uggghhhs"? Sinade summed it up beautifully, "Ooo girl, maybe you shoulda just put that on a t-shirt...." : )

 I really need to get on a normal sleep schedule. I was hoping that classes at the Y would mean I would start getting up in the morning. Oh how naive I was. It just means Im running around on Tuesdays and Fridays after a night of Korean-cramming, trying to get to class on time. Im starting to feel uber-metropolitan though with my bagel and coffee and Ipod morning music on the subway to downtown in the mornings.

"Meanwhile, back at the ranch"... I mean... the bar:

I was out meeting new people and the like. My co-worker is really good at just going up to people and starting a conversation. He can come off as somewhat forward and loud at first, but hey, it works for him. Sometimes I like going out with him. If he's the bait, I'm the fisherman. Usually what happens is he brings all types of varieties of fishies over to meet me and then I get to talking. If I really like 'em I'll buy 'em a drink. "The bait", however, he usually gets up within ten-minutes--he says he gets bored easy--leaving me to get their cell number. I don't think the bait realizes that we have a system going. One night while people-fishing I actually met someone named Steven then who I didn't know I would see again from my YMCA class I take now. We met again when class started. He sat next to me and the first thing he says is  "Muhammad Ali is really from Atlanta right?" ....dude...what? Im thinkin. He says it again....Im still lost. Then he says "I'm sorry, but the last time we met. You remember, MF? The last thing you said to me was: 'Ali is from ATL' right?"......I had to take a sec to dig through my mental archives and drag out my thoughts from the dirty right corner of my brain in the beat-up, sticky case-file labeled "MF" written in fuzzy black sharpie.  "ooooohhhh yeaaahhhhh" I said, not wanting to sound too guilty and give my self away. For it was that same night we had met that I had taken what I like to refer to as a "lil nappy" on the comfy chairs in that blue-tinted bar. I wasn't drunk, but that was night 4 of 4 for me each with only 4 hours of sleep. I'd been ragin' from Wednesday to Saturday. Unknowingly ---or unwillingly exhausted, I don't remember anything except almost leaving my wallet in the taxi at 6 AM the next morning. I still haven't figured out why there were blood streaks on my phone in the morning. I guess we'll never know. Just throw it back in the cold-case "MF" file bin in the right corner of my brain.

Eye Candy to go with Your Reading

Haeundae Beach in Busan with some new Canadian friends at about midnight.

Some Busan friends that came to visit me in Daegu!! Wow. I guess I really do live here now.

Tim, Christina, and Me. Three countries represented, with three different "Vinyl Cocktails"...or "Adult Capri-suns" call 'em what you will.

The bartender here now recognizes me (wait is that a good thing? and gives me "gga gga"....apparently that means discount. Just showing the travelers my favorite haunt.

Back in Busan  at an Irish pub that closed at 2AM....that's just preposterous! I try not to think about the fact that I will most likely never see these people again. I only remember some of their names. What  a fun night. Flashes of light and then it's gone. I guess it's best to just let them be that....fun nights.

Started my trip off on the right foot. Man the over-package EVERYTHING here!

 

we've got a runner......

"JUST KEEP SWIMMING!!!"

What my dinner looked like before it was decapitated, skinned and still moving on my frying pan.....I had to pull the burner-switch myself. It was still moving!!! That was a Beetle-Juice moment. Videos to come.

And this was just one fish market!

Manta Ray so big they have to chop it in half and it still didn't fit in the little baskets!

Just the clam guy, clamming away on his little clam hill.

You can pick out your dinner and then pull up a chair and eat your seafood with a view of the bay...and Soju of course! This must be experienced......

She kept yelling something. I bet it was something like: "Getcha Gingah Roots Heeyah!" but in just in Korean

My hostel door on the right. The bar window on the left. Just a hop, skip, and a stumble away. DANGER :)

And again.....

Pre-gaming with the hostel-mates....stretching before the big sprint. Soju and Beer? Bad life choice.

Hostel host said they were called "Sea Penises"...still don't believe him.

We became fast friends. I will be visiting this crazy girl in Seoul sometime soon. I think this is Katrina's attempt at the Korean "cute fingers" pose?

There was a drunk lady I had to help up off the street. Shes sitting in a chair off to the right. "Oh no baby gurrrlll!"

"Single Ladies" came on...duh

Taking over the world....

Thank you Korea for your asshole park jobs on sidewalks, the fact that you blow through crosswalks and don't actually give pedestrians a second thought, and thank you most of all for your unnecessary warning "don't think about crossing I'm plowin' through bitch" honks....I always feel warned.

I got the strangers in the landscape pic by accident. But I like it the best. I wonder what they were thinking, the two brothers.

The Busan Bridge right before the random fireworks

What do you eat to soak up the Soju? Thats right people. KIM-BOP (sushi).

It was cool to see the temples up close.

This one is the size of about 3 American Cars. I'll have a better picture later.

4 dollar cab ride to a seaside Buddhist temple for the win??? SCORE

What my dinner looked like after it came out of the tank....still moving...YES I HAVE VIDEOS....soon!

So on my last day in Busan I was determined to find this dog market that my Lonely Planet had hyped up. And it turns out it wasn't just hype. It was just as creepy as the book said it was. I searched for this special section of the market for about 45 mins. I was soo close to callin' it quits. Then I found this alley. It was covered in red. Every other part of the market was bustling with fish heads flying and agitated Korean people bumping into each other...and then there was nothing but this....no talking....no footsteps....just the breeze. I walked down the alley and didnt see the dogs at first. I just saw the empty cages. It was a holiday after all, they don't see exotics on holidays maybe. And then I saw them. A cute white husky puppy who was standing in his cage wagging his tail while the other older dogs around him lay against the bars letting the metal cool their skin. I don't think the pup had seen reality yet. He was still "smiling" I kept walking, peering through the dark windows past the stainless steel counters and meat hooks...don't worry, no dog carcasses this time. I saw a TV on in one of the shops, but the rest of the room was still soaked in red-tinted shadows. I looked to my left and there was one gray wolf-like dog staring at me. I had my camera running (videos later) but I decided to put it away...you know...give the poor things some respect. It stared at me...waiting for the camera to disappear...and as soon as the magnets on my bag clicked shut the thing snarled at me! It barked, ringing on the bars of all the cages in the alley. This set of a chain reaction of barks. I began to speed walk towards the yellow lit fish market away from all the red. As I went I turned to see an old Korean lady come out and wave a knife at me....as if to curse me for scaring the dogs. Damn Foreigner! After that, dog will have to be on my menu at least once this year. The Koreans, however, seem to love it or hate it. 

It was soo eerily quiet. These bloodhounds were napping. Apparently every breed tastes different..I wonder?

And just around the corner were the cute little toy puppies with dyed ears..really Korea..THAT AIN'T CUTE

I saw this on a trash pile...they don't actually have dumpsters here, just designated street poles. If only I had thought to just pick it up!

Becca and Jun (the bartender who gives me "gga gga"s...discounts) the trickin' fireballer

One of my many splurges this month....its traditional. Now if only I know how to play it.....  ;  )

One day I will bungee from that....one day.

Even the Disney characters look like they've had the "square eye" plastic surgery!

My ride: LA DASH AH

Tim, are you stripping? What are you doing? We know that the girls think you're hot and all...but is that really necessary? C'mon man, you're makin' us look bad  : )

The traveling friends at the amusement park in my city

 

You bettah get it Asian Audrey!