Saturday, October 20, 2012

As I clean out my "new" Korean phone and cancel my American one, I promised I would tell the story of how I got each and everyone one of these contacts that I've kept "just in case" but the case never happened again and so.....peace out. Here goes:


Charmaine Anderson: My co-worker went to church  one Sunday just to introduce me to this lady who is a singer in Korea at a university....should I pursue this? Didn't delete it

James Banyawol King: A kid on the street in my old neighborhood. Maybe 16? He was out with his  friends at 11:30. He was the gang leader and said he wanted to have drinks one time. Never got it.

Big".....some guy who went by the English name of big......

Deva and Jenna: the couple I met from SA who lived in my old neighorhood. Great people.

Jono: to go with Deva and Jenna, offered me a place to stay after losing and recovering my cell phone in Korean

Devon: a bass player from Santa Cruz that was in my first Korean class and had occasional shows downtown.

Dennis: a guy me and Cara met on New Years last year....."you bitch".....inside joke

EK and Saehyun: first language exchange partners, I made them not afraid of "foreigners"...it was a good first exchange. Fun going to the movies and afternoons at Lotteria

Elle: old coworker. Half korean style half aussie style thanks to her time abroad.

Gangsta Josh: a random guy i met at the bar playing pool who happened to be from North Carolina...and yes our accents came out immediately.

Gemma: The british mother hen of the old gang. Miss you much Jessie J

Rani gwangju.....a girl from Gwangju I met on a foreigner tour trip......blabla

Hung Ta Long......................what a name hahahaha. Another story...... hahahahaha

Ian: the brit that lived in my old neighborhood with piercing icy blue eyes that looked like  he was a vampire when he took his sunglasses  off.

J......one of my private students who I helped pass her teaching exam  and then  never heard from again....USED

Jade.....dont remember

Jane.........oh hey international cat lady of mystery

Jay   a guy I met at salsa class now in  NZ. wow

Jess & Katrina   I met these in Busan last year 3 weeks after getting here. Havent  seen em since  new years last year...partly my fault

Jiwon, My french speaking Korean friend....talk about a brain workout

Jin   happens to a be a friend of a friend that went to William and Mary and showed me  around Seoul the first month I was here

Joy    met this lady at the sandwich shop and happened to go to church with her one time and a choir concert. interesting weekend.

JP  cousin of the coffee shop owner. Went to chicken and  soju  one random Saturday. Wrote "thanks for not forgetting me" when i messaged him last. Goes to show the life between native koreans and traveling teachers......build bridges

Jun DJ  .............my favorite club meastro.

Karl   see "bromance" i previous posts. Stopped hanging out with him after he slept with a good friend...no names.

Landon:  tried to get his friend to date a good friend after spotting her on the street in Daegu...."are we wings up or wings down" .....love you

Laura  don't know where I met her but told her about salsa  classes ...that i stopped going to....and she keeps going. nice

Lee.......who is this?.....how many lee's have i met here?

Louise....brit friend....just a fun person!

Lu.....met her on a fall trip the same time i met Rami and Lauren and Camille...wow....a lifetime ago. ..."you know its a black club right?"

Marina.....on the same fall trip I met russian exchange students who happened to be friends with this one. Fun

Mikey the Cabbie......Lets be honest, I was drunk in a cab one night and had an amazing conversation about life goals with this 20 something year old driver with amazing English....the only cab driver I've ever tipped in Koera

Pheobe.............she said that US Thanksgiving dinner was blan......bitch

Rami...............Delta Chi......enough said

Random Aussie...............met him the same time I was partying during the International running thing last year. I remember splitting a Whopper with him....thats about it

Random Lisa Friend..............If i have to hear "I'll teach you Korean you teach me English" one more time.

Savuneet.............In the same class as Devon the bassist. Fun girl

Sinade...............I think the second person I put in my phone while in Korea. Free spirited Canadian

Sira..............a friend of a friend I met in Seoul I think?

Sunny from the Street.............on my way to Korean class in Daegu some girl stopped me in the street and asked me if I wanted to join a possible upstarting Taekwondo class for foreigners...apparently she ran into a couple friends of mine.

Johnny the Tailor.    will never go back to this guy again....he still has one of my jackets....bastard

Tim........met him as he pitifully tried to hit on a friend at a club.

Trent, Marcus, Louis..............that was a whirlwind

Victoria...................and to think I tried to hit on her when I first met her!

Whats Up...................go to one of my first posts....I ran into this guy on the  streets of Daegu last winter...he was LITERALLY the first Korean I met that wasn't work-related.

Samuel ..........I thought he was Phillipino the second time I met. Two different sides. Interesting personality. Still acquaintances. I think he's in Missouri now.????

Kyung eun and Sang min ....second language exchange. A fun couple

Derek.......my favorite bartender.

Moobin.....his name rhymes with "Movin" and he's a career  airforce man who goes to languages exchanges for fun....and it shows.

Reggie " 씨"  he was in my last korean class in Daegu. the numbers seemed to dwindle as you got up in level. And I met his brother who was the opposite  of his personality.

Oo-Kwi     college student, met on a rooftop at a club  in Daegu and again at a university party. Diablo fanatic. Timing always sucked tho

Willy "In-tek"  A friend of a friend who happened to take care of our crazy selves on the subway one night.......what a good memory?

Eee kyung boon.....last language exchange partner...took photos of the books. USED

Enrico, met him at a bar. From Mexico city. obviously rich. And very funny.

Eden.......a cool English name

Ed......whipper-snapper Korean-American from Cali

Jepperstone.....actually met him at the same time me and Cara met Dennis and Tim at club Phantom for new years. BB-BOY. Fun to chill with..



AND THUS ENDS  THE LIST OF DEAD RELATIONSHIPS........................................no really tho


Thursday, October 4, 2012

no apologies for this one

This  will  probably be the last post I make on this blog. Why? I realized that having a blog is what I would have wanted last year. I am the same and different. Everyone tries to start a blog when they move to a foreign country. typical

everyone says they are going to save money in a foreign country......typical

everyone says they are going to this country (Japan) and that country (Russia) on weekends......typical

everyone says "you only live once"......typical

.......................................thats what my life had become. Typical foreigner


And then i rebelled, I started saying and doing things to not be your "average foreigner"...............basically I became a hipster on accident......I became the "Ive been here longer than you and am not your average foreigner" average foreigner...

As I go through my suitcase of desperate nostalgic "memories" i saved and shipped all the way up to the burbs of Seoul in my new apt....just to look at  and glorify the past.... my 20-20 retrospect realization that I  was blind to what I was doing....and what I wasn't doing in the present....(side note: im starting to believe in astrology just because it says 'Cancers collect useless crap just to remember the golden years') hit me hard.


with that said, and true to Cancerian form I felt like i need to write the list of things i found in my cat piss smelling backpack (thanks again Cara for letting me store my shit somewhere) as at least a reminder to myself of the stuff i did and didnt accomplish (or fail) during my first year abroad:

1. a glass coke bottle written in Korean......just because i thought i'd never find another one.....what was i thinking

2. a MANNAM volunteer group button that supposedly ended up being a group to front a religious cult and made me feel like a real foreigner by ignorantly asking "do you know kimbap" every time i met a new member (and that is NO OFFENSE to the amazing people i met through the group)

3. 3 ticket stubs ...one of which is from the Deagu opera festival. All i remember of which is the small car sized Chanel clutch they built as a scene prop for the opera i saw.....maybe La Traviatta??? shout out to Joseph Roberts who might follow this

4. Stamps given to me by students from other countries....seriously i dont throw shit away its a problem

5. A hand fan advertising a dance club in Hongdae, the univ district in Seoul. As if you'd look sexy fanning yourself from sweating like a pyramid slave in the club while dodging korean girls who "just wanna practice English" by saying shit like "I like black............................................."

6. Ginseng gel candy wrappers....because candy can be good for your health

7. Seaweed paper flavored jelly candy wrappers.......what is this Bernie Bots Every Flavor gummies?

8. Three dead glowsticks....I started a collection apparently....enough said

9.  A magnet from a Chicken place in town that had an "Oprah" story. Apparently the man who stopped us asked us if we were from the US and NYC because half of his family including his now 50 year old sister moved their after the Korean war and he was desperately trying to contact them again but she learned English and he didnt.....can you imagine not being able to talk to your own siblings because you can't speak their language???    that was the night me and Cara called KARL (see bromance from previous posts) to randomly translate for this guy........we were typical foreigners then now werent we.......and no me and Karl arent still friends. long story. dont ask .................me

10.  an ugly picture of me drawn by a student i named Ruby because her spunky attitude reminded me of a friend by the same name and who wanted to be named after 뽀로로 (bo lo lo) a penguin cartoon icon here.....needless to say its been on my fridge like a proud parent

11. a brochure on Korean sign language. Who knew there were signs for each character in the Korean language???

12. a program from the opening ceremony of the Daegu international track and field championships held last year......so cool to see my Korean hometown become so international so fast...see previous posts

13. instructions on how to prepare my 비빔밥 (bee bim bop)  in flight meal given to me by a Korean air robotically gorgeous stewardess on the flight over here....wow.....14 months ago. NOW I DONT NEED INSTRUCTIONS ^^

14. A FLYER COMPLETE WITH CARTOON PICTURES OF YOUR LIFE FROM CHILDHOOD TO STUDYING HARD TO GETTING A JOB AT A BIG COMPANY MARRIED CHILDREN TRAVELING WITH YOUR WIFE AND THEN DYING .............all this from a church asking "where are you going after all this"..............Christianity here is a different level of blunt and strict and straightforward......how do you get away with translating your church name to English by saying "Best Church"...........isn't that a little boastful? And what about putting your Pastor's bachelors, masters, and phd information in the bulletin and on banners hanging from the church........is that necessary? anyway....thats a different blog.

how do i end this blog if i dont know if i'll ever post again?? maybe...we'll see....ask for my address...i'd much rather send a good old postcard


...............keep writing world

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

to Blog or Not to Blog?

I have to choose between going to have more experiences to blog about and or blogging about the ones I've already have....there's no time for both.

I just posted about my first trip to Seoul....... I've been back since then and Im going there to celebrate New Year's for vacation tomorrow. I've been here in Korea for five months now. Life is getting to be pretty standard.

Im looking forward  to getting my haircut in the foreigner part of Seoul tomorrow by someone who doesn't think my hair is so different it's "like sheep's wool".

I missed blogging about Thanksgiving. I went to a foreigner church service where they were serving Thanksgiving dinner. My Korean friends called the turkey bland and cringed at the cranberry sauce...........Im not gonna lie I was a little offended. After all, not everyone can be skinny and avoid the all the carbs in stuffing. And after all the new Asian food I've tried!!!..............anywho

They had never heard a turkey gobble. After much coaxing...I finally obliged and joined the gobbling contest in front of two hundred strangers at dinner. I ran into the same people at the bar later that week who saw me make an ass of myself and they bought me a drink for my efforts....winning.

I just celebrated Christmas with a bunch of Brits, a Newfie (Newfoundlander), some Americans, and three Koreans who were Western-Christmas party first-timers. These were different Koreans than the Thanksgiving  ones and they actually liked the food. It was so strange to see them poking at it like it was alien. They asked me what turkey and cranberry sauce tasted like before eating it...

The things you don't think about until you do............

I couldn't help but laugh out loud when they thought Christmas ornaments from the ceiling of the host-friend's apartment was "over-the-top"!!

.........needless to say we showed them the Trans-Siberian Orchestra light show houses on Youtube.

Apparently getting gifts on Christmas is only for young kids here. Usually only couples go out to celebrate Christmas while the rest go to church or stay home cause they're Buddhist and enjoy the day off (if it's in the middle of the week that is). It's like celebrating Valentine's Day.......gross




Fa-Ra-Ra-Ra-Ra-Ra-ing in the Subway Station downtown


 

All I have to say is: "Face in the CAKE!!!!" ....what a celebration....


OH! Its been a while since I've blogged: THERE'S A NEW GIRL IN TOWN!

We got a new girl at work who will probably read this. She's out of control and I love every minute of it. I've already been to two Karaoke sessions with her and our Korean friends and it has barely been a month. Here are some quotes of ours just for my memory more so than your understanding. Basically we could be a sit-com:

--I ain't got my cell-phone light!

--Me: "Cara, c'mon don't act crazy we like this place and wanna come back!"
Cara "Stop it Seth, you only live once. See, done"

What the hell does that little Asian girl sing in "Rush Hour"?

--Me  "Does that really come up in conversation every time I'm drunk"
--Cara  "No worries. Only for like 5 minutes."

"KEEEEEEEYYYYYYY"

And Cara if you're reading, I'm sure I haven't heard "Man in the Mirror" followed by the sound of glass shattering in that order for the last time..............Cara, un-phased by the broken glass says, "shit--well--we're outta beer"

The first time I met this uncharacteristically warm-weather-loving-Minnesotan-Moose, I was still hungover--why would you think any different of someone who's only gift for Christmas was a Soju bottle phone-charm???

QUESTION OF THE DAY: Do you know what happens when you reach the end of the subway line?
I do....

I remember what felt like blinking and realizing that I was the only one in my halogen-white subway car. It was like something outta the Matrix. I couldn't see anything out of  the windows and we weren't moving. I say "we" assuming that there was a person on the train with me. Then I heard the door beside me rattle and a man carrying a shiny work vest and a black box came out, mumbled something to me in Korean that must have been something to the effect of "just sit tight", and ambled off down the train only to get smaller and smaller with each door her went through. Then a little old lady appeared....I recognized her as the lady who was sitting directly across from me dozing before I had blinked to this moment. She was diligently, efficiently, yet apathetically, and unhurriedly cleaning the train. After about 7 minutes she was satisfied and went back to dozing....then the train started moving again....that's when I feel asleep ............again.........

What was supposed to be a 25 minute train ride had turned into a 4 hour odyssey;blinking my way from one side of the hour-long red-line route to the other. I hit my pillow at 10 am the next morning, but it's cool, I had napped at a 24-hour coffee shop after double-decker bus drunchies with Camille as the sun came up hours earlier.

15 minutes in bed and I got a text saying that the new girl "Cara" has just arrived and wanted to get lunch......I said I was feeling sick and would meet her later......what a first impression.....way to go Seth........I bought her dinner anywho.

RANDOM THOUGHTS FOR THE CAUSE THAT AREN'T BIG ENOUGH FOR THEIR OWN POST!

1. Coming home from Busan one weekend I saw a little boy climbing the subway chairs and mumbling a boy band song.....was that me when I was little??? K-POP IDOL IN TRAINING

2. I DISCOVERED A KRISPY KREME here....my student and I often have debates on which is better, Dunkin Donuts or Krispy Kreme........horray for free-talking time in ESL speaking classes!

3.  There is skin bleach in most of the make-up here because a whiter face is more beautiful........and westerners want to be tan........wow.........the grass really is always greener.

4. Just saw a Chinese woman cut paper by whippin' her hair..............SUCK ON THAT WILLOW SMITH

5. My boss is an ex-PE teacher/sports science major. he gave me boiled red-ginseng to drink for my cold because he's into Chinese medicine (even though ginseng is Korean)......nasty...but a cure all.......sold

6. Some Koreans  STILL refer to China as the orient, or Oriental Medicine or history.....so....are you the pot or the kettle?  EVERYONE'S A RITTLE BIT LASCIST!

7. There really is a Diagon Alley in real life (other than in Orlando now)......it's the Oriental Medicine Market that wafts it's bizarre smells from exotic fare like bull horn powder into the windows of my YMCA Korean class......

8. I am learning some contemporary worship songs in Korean. Same tune, different language. The university youth group is singing one of the staples and I picked up the syllables fast. Next thing you no I was teaching them the music and they were teaching me the words. It's fun to say that I can sing it in Korean! PS. I heard  "This is the Air I Breathe"  in Korean at a street-food stop last week. GLOBAL

9. New Favorite Drink name: "Black Mexican", a spin off of a Black Russian just with Jose

10. Koreans being short is a myth. They actually have been making their kids take supplements to grow taller and look less stereotypically Asian.......its China and Japan that are still shorter apparently

**BONUS FUN FACT or FICTION** I've been told that Japanese people get surgery to make their teeth crooked because they think it's more beautiful.  ........Well, the Japanese do have the British teeth of Asia, so I'd believe that.

My First Seoul Train

 
Magician in the museum

 

Going up to the War Memorial there were hundreds of volunteers lining the path to meet you. When the realized me and my other co-worker Seth were American the decibles doubled and the "Kamsahamnida"s changed to "Thank You"........Thank You for what? I would soon recognize the US' role in the Korean role was huge.....but I had been ignorant to the fact....thanks for nothin' junior year US History. Truly moving experience



The festival was a unity celebrate for those who want unification with North Korea. There's a song that goes with it (first video). The most memorable moment was singing the New Year's Eve song in English while a little girl next to me sang the words in Korean. She looked up and smiled, as if to to say "I understand". I almost started to cry. Who needs words when you have music????

Music nerd moment----annnnd we're back




These are the long lost Seoul videos that I've finally downloaded after my second weekend here.....wow....can't believe it was four months ago. So many people have come and gone by then. Korea is not the place to get attached....again.

 My second weekend in Korea happened to be a three day weekend...so what else do you do? GO TO SEOUL DUH.

I went there and met up with a friend of a friend (thats how you meet the most interesting people in life) that I know from Blue Lake in Europe just this summer! Talk about connections....and that my friends is why I love facebook.

Anywho, we clicked right away. Her name is Jin and she is a student at William and Mary if I have my facts right. she went back there last week to start up her last year there. She is studying to be a CPA, I hope she did well on the test she was taking a study break from just to come meet us. It took her an hour to get to us because she lives on the opposite side of Seoul....again...one of the biggest cities in the world.

We ended up heading up to the Hongik Univ. Museum of art...which was overpriced. So as we were mosying around the park and touring the campus we heard plain old English (Jin's English is SPECTACULAR! She even says things like "alrighty") so of course we were nosy newbies and butted in. Turns out they were from from Alexandria/Springfield VA. Close to William and Mary where Jin goes to school and in the same town that my dad and stepmom live in. SMALL WORLD. We went on down to this Optical Illusion museum thanks to Seth C's travel guide. It was a blast. Pictures on FB! (sorry, I dont have time to post in two places).
The pics tell the story.

Needless to say we were all great new friends by the end of our happen-stance day!

And then that night....

Seth C wanted to go to sleep early after a long day of being a tourist. I HOWEVER, would be damned if I payed 100 bucks to get to Seoul and didn't party my behind off. Besides, I had only been up and into my Taco-searching hangover for 6 hours and wasn't about to go to sleep!

(For info on that night, see the previous post about the Bar Crawling with the German guy!)

I wandered the streets near the university. Determined to do SOMETHING in one of the biggest cities in the world......and just as I said that aloud to myself amidst the crowds. I bumped into none other than the German guy who helped me stumble the night before!

I ended up going to a posh karaoke spot with a Korean girl 3 Parisians, and a guy from Lubeck Germany. They all new a little Japanese except for me. They procceeded to scream broken Japanese into the microphone in a room that was stone and echoed (if I hadn't had known we were in Korea I would have guessed we were in the middle east by the way the room was deocrated) while flailing around and air-humping the poor Korean girl. She didn't hate it. Although the guys from France were total assholes....even if they were funny. They're French......... They kept mocking the Korean accent but in a way that helped the girl understand what we were saying. Needless to say Im staying in that hostel another night this month!

The German, The Parisians, even the Korean had been studying Japanese! This is a J-POP (Japanse-pop as opposed to Korean K-POP group)

Here's what they were screaming........:

Kara- "Mister"


Rainbow- "To Me"
(you can actually hear the lyrics "fancy car" if you listen close)

I only wish I could figure out how to upload my cellphone vids of the inside of the karaoke room!

IF I ONLY KNEW.....US SOLDIERS CAUSE FIGHTS.....DUH....so some places straight up just wont let you in......After a 20 min jog back to the hostel to get my passport to get into the club I was finally in.

This is where it gets to be like a movie. I can remember Shaggy's "Fuck the Recession I'm Spendin' " song came on.....and thats what I did.

I made my way to the lighted dance floor and got on stage, naturally. I had a great view of the crowd and could map out the whole in one glance, although I couldn't distinguish faces  through the fog machines and body heat. Then I make eye contact with a guy across the crowd....he throws his head-back as if to say "what's up"....I throw up my best thugged-out peace sign....and if you know me...it ain't nothin' to brag about....and he smiles and starts gettin' his friends to "waddup" me back....wait.....was I a novelty?????


...........that's when I realized I was black..........


The guys from Paris I came with were tryin' real hard to get laid that night. But nobody other than them was trynna grind up on people. Looking around I realized that this club.....and all of the ones I would go to.......weren't really for hookin' up....just ...well.......dancing.

.................I was in a new world

Soon after that I ended up getting tapped on the shoulder by a Korean girl. I screamed over the music, and  had barely introduced myself when she screamed back at my "jennuntahnix!".......................'scuse?

"johnnuhntonex!!!"

I went to the bar and came back with a drink for myself (little did I realize no one dances with a drink in their hand here--the Korean mating dance is to fast and jerky to much to avoid spilling anything you might be nursin') only to be confronted again with the Kimcheezyest smile

"Where's mine?"...she croaked

Oh snap

"I'm Michelle!".......I put 2 and 2 together and translated her slurred robotic English to = Gin & Tonic....OH!!


.....................since then I've had lots of broken-drunken-robotic-scream-over-the-music-or-too-soft-because-Im-scared-to-use-the-alien-language-the-mass-media-drilled-into-me-for-my-whole-life" translation practice with my Korean friends now.

I brought her her drink and from the corner of my eye I saw a guy nod/bow to his dance partner before leaving her, thanking her for the failed opportunity to woo her.......SO THATS HOW THEY DO HERE???

I'm down for new dance moves....but bowing to dance partners??? Don't worry, I haven't seen it since.

Let's end this "Michelle" bit with the fact that she said "you're tight" with a fake "did you think that was cool?" grin of hers.......


......I bowed and left.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Post-Its and Paperclips.....

My life right now is living for the weekend....I like my job and all, no real complaints, but I look forward to Friday more than ever. Right now I'm lying in bed at 8pm on a Saturday letting my body and my wallet recover from usual Friday night shennigans.....that word is too "kiddy"...let's just call my weekends what they have been for the past month: regular "shit shows"......honestly, being here in Korea is like the college experience I never had.....except this time I have a paycheck : )  (is that a good thing or a bad thing??)

Today's word of the day is "gadabout"....I discovered this one right after my trip to Busan. It fits my life quite well at the moment:


gadabout (ˈɡædəˌbaʊt) [Click for IPA pronunciation guide]
n
informal a person who restlessly seeks amusement

Collins English Dictionary - Complete & Unabridged 10th Edition
2009 © William Collins Sons & Co. Ltd. 1979
 Need I say more????


OH  BUT I WILL SAY MORE!!

Last night I went to dinner with some people I met in Youngcheon (I need to tell you about that whole story later) who live here in Daegu, we've effectively formed a core group of friends that meets for dinner every weekend to try new restaurants! I look forward to every weekend with them. Its three couples and then me and my girl-friend Camille. Nope, not "gf" just "friend that is a girl"....still workin on that. Me and Camille, being single and crazy, were not ready to call it a night when all of the other couples were "too tired to go out" so we took a cab downtown after dinner at a cool little restaurant near Kyungpook Univ named "AVEC"....gotta love the French charm that sells Italian food....

We stayed out till the club closed at 6AM and then went to eat fried food in the double-decker bus where the Russian friends and I ate months earlier with a thugged out Korean stranger....the sun came up, and because we're insatiable, we went to Holly's 24hr Coffee and passed out in a chair until 9 am after a chat and a coffee.....hope you're keeping up with this story!

Me and Camille have been running into this guy who has GREAT ENGLISH and dresses well (I mean I kinda want his Korean wardrobe). He goes by the name "TIGER"....basically because he can....I mean who's gonna stop you if you want to name your kid "apple" right?? Funny guy, except for the fact that he got in a bar fight last night and I learned a whole new slew of Korean curse words. He lost his $120 watch....and his un-Korean-ly fat opponent smiled at me later and laughed saying "he bumped into me and didn't say sorry...simple" ANYWAY......Im sure I'll see him again. 

At the bar last night I also met a South African who teaches music-English at a univ here in Daegu. He told me to go back to grad school next year. He said "I don't see you here for more than a year. Are you willing to 'make a life here'? Why did you stop singing? Your voice will peak in 4 years and where will you be? Did you practice today?"..............SLAP IN THE FACE.....needless to say he bought me a drink after that reality check.

I either find a program to pay me to get my CELTA english teaching cert

Or I finish my Temple Univ grad app.

Or both?

And I need to get my month of travel in there somewhere.....I dont realize how young I am and how many things I can only do when Im young! I want to enjoy traveling while my young body can still move around easily. People got it backwards.....travel when you retire? What? So you can get a bad sock tan while juggling your pill-taking regimen between time-zones?....that's a big no thanks.....

Sadly, the Russian/Ukrainian/Uzbek friends that I keep mentioning left Korea and spread to the wind. They left on the first day of the month. I was supposed to meet up with them to say goodbye but it never worked out. I remember the first time we met at our soon-to-be favorite hole in the wall vinyl cocktail joint called "Vinaroo". They gave me money from their countries as a token of friendship after talking for around an hour about the crazy world we all still live in. I wish I had something to give them in return. Good times. Sad to see them go. It's like staying at school while your friends graduate...bittersweet. I will always remember being sneaked into Woobang Land Amusement park by Stan who kept telling me with his broken English "nothing is happening right now...head down" just to see their dance show and then hangin' out with them in their apt. eating mayo and cheese microwave sandwiches and listening to the Uzbek couple literally duke it out next door...I have more pics of them to post when I get a chord for my phone to the comp.

I keep their foreign money on my bookshelf as a daily reminder that we all have to leave this playground at some point........

Ok, smile Seth.

Im starting the MAX part of my INSANITY workout on Monday. I ordered the "Rev Abs" program from Beachbody to start after this month. Im going on a shopping spree with Camille at the end of the month to celebrate....I need to start investing money in my appearance and myself.....to put it bluntly....Im tired of looking like shit. These Korean guys have got something right.

Karl is ordering me some whey protein. Oh! Who's Karl? He's a friend I met on the street months ago when I was stumbling around with the Russian Uzbek Ukrainians (RUUs). The first night I met him, he was stumbling around with some Polish people and we literally ran into each other and the RUUs and his Polish friends started talking. Then Karl bumped into a BIG ASS black soldier from the States and knocked the bottle of  Soju out of his hand, shattering it on the ground. ..........I immediately turned on my "ebonics" switch and I like to think I diffused a potentially bloody situation with a few "we goods?"  and "aights"

........................and that's how I met Karl

Later that night, when I put the drunk RUUs in a cab home, I called Karl and he came and picked me up at 4AM.....wow....I spent the night on his floor. He offered. He even took the day off work the next day and cooked me breakfast in the morning like this:

Me: "Im not really hungry, I think I'll just walk to the subway"

Karl: "You can't walk. It's too far. I will drive you. You're not hungry?"

Me: "No I'll be fine. Thanks though"

Karl walked to the kitchen and pulled out a frying pan........did I not say I wasn't hungry? He did understand English right? Karl didn't care what I said
.
He said, "I'm Korean, I can't just let you leave without feeding you first"





.................and that was the start of a bromance........................





Wednesday, October 26, 2011

so much so fast.......some random thoughts

So my house phone mysteriously rings and no one is on the other line....creepy. The best part is it plays
"Chim Chimney" from Mary Poppins ...pretty creepy after midnight if I do say so myself

Kinda mad at my dad for not sending my camera chord yet.....at the bottom of his list as usual. It won't happen until it has to....

ANYWHO, my routine is get up at noon, workout, go to work, come home, watch SVU, Bones, and NCIS....then drift off about 3 AM, I guess that's workin' nights though. I ain't complaining....I like not using an alarm clock.

Speaking of TV, there is an English-teaching channel here where young kids are learning English and answering questions at 10 oclock at night....part of a govt initiative to educate kids to be globally competitive....somethings our country is STRUGGLING WITH.....Im not ready to go back to America's schools....no.

There's even study videos on YOUTUBE that students watch on Saturdays.....I guess they treat it like a job

They also have FOX here and FX here. Even the FX man's channel here is cuter. Their logo is a banana that replaces one of the criss-crosses in the letter "X". Gender-stereotypes are cultural. Late at night on FX they have a show that only plays funny, racy, foreign commercials over and over. Don't get all awkward, they're just wicked funny!

And there is goes again....the house phone is ringing "Mary Had a Little Lamb".........its dull life here ; )

A few weekends ago I was waiting ....otherwise known as "people watching"...for my colleague and friend Jeremy who was a linguist in the Reserve and speaks Korean--enough said. I was waiting to go to the travel agency to talk about going to China ($1000 for 48 hours in Beijing....no thanks. I'm going to Japan for vacation in January instead PS) when 3 things happened while I was waiting:

1. a man dressed in a straight-up Mortal Kombat "Raiden"  cone-hat and a traditional Korean men's outfit walked out of a glasses store wearing the most sophisticated, shiny, stainless steel glasses. I mean...I guess a monk needs to look good when he's reading his 1000 year old books.....

2. I saw a group of black people.....and NO...that's not the end of the story. But not only did the black folks stick-out because of their skin, duh...but because of their behavior...we all know that the phrase "quit ackin' so black" means....this time I wanted to say it more than ever. Amidst the Korean reserved demeanor even in downtown...these people were literally acting like a different species! The extremely large women in the group had hair that rivals the tower in Seoul and VISIBLE TATOOS.....that never happens in Korea. And the bald black heads of the fat guys shined as they sported studs in their ears, sunglasses, and NFL jerseys. These people were touching all of the street vendors merchandise...especially the shiny Beyonce shoes (stop is girl, you'll never be her)....with obviously no intent to buy anything or be respectful....no wonder people hate Americans...yet again. It made me sick to my stomach honest.

3. As I turned around to say hello to my friend Jeremy, I was arm-length away from a saucer-eyed Korean kid (yes Koreans can have big eyes) staring at me like I was on the other side of the glass at the zoo. It was like the kid was an Anime character. She was inhaling an "space frozen" milkshake from a pouch...I didn't know if I should move, or say hello...or what...so I just stared back. It was the "wow, I've just seen a black person for the first time" look. I'm getting to know that one all too well. I wish I coulda taken a picture of that moment without looking like a creeper.

OH MY GOD! .....Joel Osteen is on TV right now....the only reason I'm watching it is 'cause I'm lovin' the Southern accent...I haven't heard it in months! : )

My students, in an effort to try and use their English, always say TEACHER WAYYOOH (which means "why") OH MY GOD!!! ....They learn  from K-POP songs all the time. K-pop wouldn't be nearly as popular as it is if the beautiful people who dance and lip-sync didn't throw in random English at least twice a song.

Dear Students---"oh my God" is not a phrase that makes you look cool. It won't make your more attractive--THE K-POP MACHINE IS LYING TO YOU AGAIN!

Some of my favorite compliments/brown-nose attempts so far include:

"GAME PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE............HANDSOME SHINY-FACE TEACHERRRRRR!"

"Teacher, you look like an old man when you laugh....you know...they guy who sells chicken...just...blacker"
"Ohhh....You mean the KFC guy!!"....yup...except for the fact that they think I look old, I don't mind being compared to the Colonel

"You're eyes are so big and bling-bling!"........again with the Korean obsession with big eyes....

 And apparently sticking a pencil behind your ear is a funny thing for a teacher to do....everyone: adults, my students, my Korean friends always act surprised when they see me with one behind me ear. I asked why and someone said that ONLY carpenters do that and that doing that demotes you to blue-collar socially. In the strict social hierarchy of  Korea and Asia in general, one wants to appear like a white-collar University Doctor as long and as much as possible....wow

I have gone from "teaching" at "Freedom Writer's Middle School" to teaching night-classes to snobby rich kids who don't speak my language...literally and figuratively. One example:

I couldn't find the word I wanted to translate from English to Korean. When the students finally figured out what I was saying they tried to give me the syllables while I tried to write the sounds I heard as Korean characters on the board. When I couldn't spell it right, Gina, a good kid..simply came to the board and fixed my mistakes....I often learn from them as much as they learn from me....but then another little snobby girl in the back said "teacher, Gina is smarter than you"...UGHH NO I JUST DON'T SPEAK YOUR LANGUAGE AND I WANT TO USE SOME REALLY CHOICE ENGLISH WORDS RIGHT NOW!!  ...I wanted to say that, but I stayed professional......but seriously..... I really don't like that little girl............  : )

That's all for now....going to study my Korean before bed.

~CP

Saturday, October 22, 2011

So many title options for this one.....

So there's this dog across the street....and by dog I mean Chinese War Chow.....who would have thought big, fluffy animals could be so intimidating? I swear this diva is still pissed because Stephen King didn't pick him to play "Cujo".... The worst is when it runs and plows into the gate of its yard trying to lunge at me as I walk by. AND the thing only does it at night. I hasn't ever barked. I just hear the bang and then the scratching and the heavy tounge-dangling huffing and puffing. It's like something out of Jurassic Park and is bound to give me nightmares sometime in the near future....just thought I'd share.

 On my way to and from work I pass many shops. There are so many little mom and pop restaurants on my street that it's a wonder they can all afford to stay open! There's a shop JUST for clocks and watches...talk about a specialized market! But most of all, right before I get to work is the butcher shop. There's this guy there that is built and in his twenties with a Bieber swoop and earings in his ears. I say all this to say that he is not the kind of guy you would see mutilating half-frozen roadkill all day. Its most hilarious when one can often see him doing the "Korean body pump" (as I've been calling it...refer to earlier posts) bobbing his Bieber bowl-swoop to the beat of the K-POP he blasts from the store loudspeakers. You can hear the music down the block! I really think he's got to be related to the owners if not their son just tryin' to not pay rent or save money. No one that metro jams with livestock carcasses all day and truly enjoys it.

Gay is only in the movies here...got groped at the club again. I was wearing my neon-green polo that glows under black-lights (chuckle if you know which one that is!) at the club a while ago...you know...if you're gonna stick out like a sore-thumb you might as well make it one that looks like it has gangrene : P  and after a few cheers from grabby strangers at the club, I decided to dip-out! I'm all for attention, but hell---buy me a drink first!

Not to mention a guy at church pinched my disappearing love handles and asked me if I was working-out. Why yes, I am, but do you have to grab up on me? I know the lines are different here, but seriously...

As I was leaving the club that night someone's hand landed on the small of my back...totally intentional, like it was a slap...thanks Korea, I know I'm exotic! Went to the next club which I thought was a little classier...which it was, but it was a different kind of fascination they had for me.

Because I look foreign people stare. But that also means that they aren't quick to forget your face. Which means I usually make friends with the right (or wrong) people quickly. And, just like my students at Monroe Middle, people here often think I'm Cuban or Dominican before they say I'm black....or they just outright say "So what are you?"......I love it... I actually played into the role of a Cuban guy to get into a club for free as an foreign athlete here to compete in the Daegu Track and Field Champs in Sept. here....: ) : )..don't judge......Anywho, I ended up at CLUB PASHA....it just sounds fancy. Its one a big ole room with a DJ "altar" at the deepest part. There's plenty of room to move here usually and the AC is usually blasting....not to mention there's a girl-to-guy ratio of two to one always....no seriously they make sure of it with bouncers outside. Anywho, I was out with the Russian friends this time. I was fun to dance with them because they are all professional dancers who dance different styles and you can really see it come out at the dance club. I was doin' my thing with my hands in the air. The music was so loud it was numbing to the point where I could forget about things for a second. When I came to, I realized I was being watched. Not only that, I looked over my shoulder and people were imitating my "American" dances moves...they laughed friendishly and mimicked my every move. They asked me why was I dancing so low to the ground??.....because in America dancing has evolved into the thing right before damn close to having sex...that's why. HOW SETH GOT HIS BLACK CARD BACK.

After the club there's always the after-parties and the bars that stay open till dawn. There I met some guys who were here as journalists. They were from Texas. One was my age. Turns out he was a tenor-voice music education major and took the job he has now right after he graduated because it was giving him a chance to travel and do something he loves, sports reporting. We had a lot in common, including feeling a little guilty about leaving the fold that music majors make around themselves. He mentioned how shocked people were, we had parallel stories it seemed. I just happened to be hanging out with the Russians at the same time. The Russians wanted us to pick out a truly American beer for them to drink.......naturally I picked Corona....I mean lets be serious....Bud Diesel is not Kosher.

On a real note for a tic:  It's sad to think I will never see those random Americans ever again...its ok Seth, even though you remember their first names (Jason and Matt)...you can't get attached. They will never know that they were mentioned in this blog. And, after all, you're leaving soon enough too Seth.....damn...that's kinda rough to think about.

Club Pasha, same night. Dancing with one of the Russian ballerina girls and she seemed to be lovin' it. Then she grabs my love handle and snarls in mocking disgust. She yells "that's McDonalds".........STAB.......I was taken aback at first. But then come to find out as we're walking out of the club she says something and then proceeds to SINK HER NAILS INTO THE FAT OF MY BACK while grunting something coarsely at me in Russian.....one guy translates it to me and says "man, she says you are 'like BEAR' and that you should start working out"..............OK....so Im not like the slim dancer-boys you're used to girl....I get it....damn.

Why the hell do I wanna watch Bones if you blurr out all of the gore during the autopsies! They blurr out people smoking cigarettes, gunshot wounds, and stabbings but they can watch "The Walking Dead" with no problems and they  don't censor out "Where all my fucking alcoholics at" at a family amusement park?!?!?!? Ps. that was a highlight of my life here in Korea so far:

 Seeing two very dangerously small kids ride the swinging Viking boat at WOOBANG LAND (funny name for an amusement park right? damn I miss Roller Coaster Tycoon!) and cheering to Lil' John......of course they didn't understand the lyrics and neither did their parents. They just loved knowing it was English....if you even wanna say that Lil' John uses real English.

AND--I did hear my first "beep" sensor on a Korean talk-show though...I wonder what he said?? It's not like home where you can put pieces together and guess what curse word was used.....oh its the little things in life

"Dirty Jobs" is always on here on "Discovery Channel Korea". Most of the shows are BBC ones or shows with British hosts. "Mythbusters" is on too. The reason I mention Discovery Channel is the choice of music for the show "Deadliest Catch". In MURRICA, the show boasts a macho manly "Dead or Alive" theme song. Here, I was shocked to hear a rather wimpy.....well..to put it bluntly...pussy-ass alternative-song to go with these tough guys throwing things overboard while fighting off the waves. Man, the ideas of what is "man" and what is "woman" are different all over the world!

 The best are the Buddha mediation "200 repentance" channels right next to the Catholic mass channels. These are followed by the "Yo Gabba Gabba" of Korea channels for little kids where they are taught how to meditate. How cool is that?  "Little Bobby can't come out to play right now, he's in his room meditating!"

Last things:

I saw my first tranny here.....he/she has business in my neighborhood. It was just weird because guys here are feminine anyway....this actually looked like a guy more than a girl??? I dont even know how to explain it....

A student of mine asked me: "Teacher, what is Judo?"....of all of the teenage Asians in the room, no one knew what Judo was...wow........just wow.......

Trying to keep up with the story reel....ahhhhh forgive me for rambling. I'm writing as fast as I can so I don't forget all the things I want to share! Whats the point of a cool experience when there's no one to share it with right??

Chicken Grease,

~CP

Ps....Does my obsessive use of ellipses (ellipsi?) mean that I scared for anything too final like a ( . )? Discuss.